so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
