I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
