You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
