Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I am spending my child support on dildos
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
