am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Randomize
