but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
