I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
