i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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