Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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