I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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