Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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