sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
