Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
