sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
