I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
