talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
