it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
