I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
