T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
we're so committed to being not committed
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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