I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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