I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
