Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
