i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
