Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
