I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
