Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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