Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just cut my nipple shaving
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
