Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
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