well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
