I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
