Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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