I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
