summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
false alarm, still single
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
