Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
