I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
