at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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