I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
