Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
