I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
