I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I party with great urgency now.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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