4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
is wine microwaveable?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
