so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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