We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
How does one acquire holy water?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
