just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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