just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
