"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
