i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Moan for me like Helen Keller
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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