my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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