i just wanna soil my oats bro
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
