New low: just hacked my moms facebook
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
