I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
