Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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