and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
